Thir13en Ghosts (2001)

3 out of 5 Black Zodiac horoscope columns

Thirteen Ghosts? More like, thirty thousand wildest dreams come true!

Thir13en Ghosts is a whimsical trip down an incredibly well-budgeted rabbit hole. The moment I caught it’s *futuristic* title (to be fair, this movie came out in 2001 – Sk8r Boi wasn’t even released until 2001, GROUNDBREAKING) back in the old small town video shop, I was intrigued. This film holds the dubious honour of being one of those horror films where the cover is scarier than any part of the film, but who cares! Tally-Ho!

Now, I do have to be honest, this film really isn’t a hair-raiser. Even when I first saw it, which would have been as a preteen, it’d didn’t get my chills a-multiplying. If you have one shot to cuddle with someone your crushing on, don’t choose this film. If you’re at a sleepover, it could work as the warm-up to the really scary shit – that kid that hates horror movies could watch this and go to sleep afterwards and still dream of lemon gum drops and sugar plum fairies.

I’m not one to spoil a plot, but it would be impossible to show you the level of craftspersonship that has been foie gras’ed into this family romp of a film.

For one, the opening scene of this film immediately thrusts you into an eighties revival, sic-fi paranormal show down. Man, I know Hollywood is hungry for a good ol’ prequel these days, so if anyone wants to expand on the genesis story of this film, I’d watch the crud out of it!

Likewise, the whole concept of the Black Zodiac – the individual ghosts and their backstories – deserve spin-off films of their own right. It’s ludicrous that without watching the DVD extras, or IMDBing the movie, that at no point the audience is filled in an the supercool backstories of these ghosts! SO COOL! SUCH POTENTIAL!

Next Halloween costumer for the squad #dab #molly #trap

I don’t normally link to IMDB, but if you want to appreciate this film in any worthwhile way, you have to check out the explanations of the above-pictured ghosties and you’ll see what I mean.

Final notes:

  • Found out this is a remake of a 1960 film called 13 Ghosts – gotta track this down
  • Also, who could say no to a TRUCK FULL OF BLOOD



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