Deliver Us From Evil (2014)

1/2 * out of five (never again)

Look, have you ever sat down on a Tuesday night and wondered to yourself, I wonder what Eric Bana has been up to?

Me neither.

So, at the end of this movie, I’m not even sure that what I watched was a horror movie. I think a new genre of ‘paranormal cop movie’ has been created and my god, the only thing that needs to be sent back to the gate of hell from which it crawled, is this mishmash of a genre.

Even a badasss ex-heroin addict Jesuit priest couldn’t save this movie.

Here’s my summary:

Iraq war

Dead baby

Eric Bana

EERIC BARNAR (I’ve got a New Jersey accent in this movie!)

Nice family, neglected by workaholic cop

Crazy woman

Jesuit Brother

Creepy basement

Dead body

Dead body exploding with flies

Possession

Latin

Creepy guy in hood

Funny cop dies (surprisingly, not black)

Don’t worry, the one black cop says ‘Aw Hell No!’ – Representation achieved

Anti-climatic Exorcism

Demon starts eating human carriage

Good triumphs over Evil

Eric Bana finds JESUS!

So…Β let’s try and salvage something from this. Some of the make up effects were pretty cool? Also for some reason The Doors are part of the plot, like ‘the doors’ of hell. So yeah, the make up artist and the copyright lawyer – good work! Writers, producer, directors – better luck next time!

Ok, so I admit, when a movie puts a review of ‘genuinely scary’ on the front cover, warning bells should go off. You don’t see toothpaste being sold as ‘genuinely toothpaste’, do you?

Also, this movie has also shown me that there is the potential for a really cool horror movie to be set in a zoo…

HOLD UP

SO I BEGAN WRITING THIS WITH LIKE TEN MINUTES LEFT OF THE MOVIE TO GO AND SOMETHING JUST HAPPENED.

So, it turns out this is based on a real life crime-fighting cop (who now works as a demonologist) and the ‘spiritual’ cases he encountered.

I’m going to follow up on this. Thanks for the tip off, nerds!

No but really, do not watch this movie. Google Ralph Sarchie instead.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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